Thoughts...

My mind and heart have been in very deep thought lately. I've been pondering the issue of adoption again. Aaron and I are at the age where everyone we meet asks us if we 1) have kids or 2) if not, when we are planning on having children. As a couple who has decided that we have a passion for adoption and raising children from other cultures, our natural response is "we wish to adopt in 3 to 4 years." The reactions to our desire is so mixed. It amazes me, no astounds me, at times. We have heard everything from "why would you want to do that?" to "that's wonderful if you can do that sort of thing," and everything else in between. I think the strangest comments have been along the lines of "will that be fair for the child?" and "you'll change, and want one of your own." To which I reply, "is it fair to leave a child parent less?" and "we do want our own, if we adopt, the child and/or children will be our own." These comments have only strengthened our desire and choice to adopt! Now, I'm in no way opposed to having biological children, if that is what God has intended for us, but I also know that is not the only way to grow a family.

I have many of the same feelings I had as a teenager, when I was deciding what career path I wanted. I was bombarded by people who thought, just because I sing opera, that I had to become an opera singer. It was crazy for me to be anything else, in their minds. I love singing, but I do it for the Lord, not for other people. It took me a long time to realize that my voice did not define me, it was a gift that was part of me. That God had another plan in mind, and I am right where He wants me. I feel the same way about our desire to adopt. People assume that because I am a woman, I need to have biological children. That as a woman, why wouldn't I want to give birth, it's what we do. It almost makes me feel like I'm broken because I yearn to adopt. I've been asking myself what's wrong with adoption, why is it controversial, and why am I expected to give birth? I still don't know what the answer is to these questions, but I do know where my heart is. I am for adoption, I love the beauty of it, and I love how God can weave a family any way He chooses.

As Christians, how can we be opposed to adoption. Christianity is based entirely on adoption. Even our Savior Jesus was adopted by His earthly father. We who are sinners and fallen so low have been chosen by a loving God and Savior to be adopted into His kingdom. To become heirs, to truly be His children. How then, can we, who are wretched, sinful creatures, who cannot earn Salvation, but who have been loved beyond words, be against something as beautiful as adoption. Also, as Christians, we know that God created the heavens and earth, that every person on this earth stemmed from one man and one woman. Therefore, we are truly related. We share the same gene pool. Now mind you, it has become more diluted and specialized with each generation, but it still has that original blood of Adam and Eve. It flows through our veins today, just as it did 6,000 years ago.

This leads me to believe even more passionately that family does not have to be "biological." It can be beautifully woven however God chooses. God is in control of Aaron and me, our life together, and our future family. Whether that family is woven through biology or adoption. This is where my heart is, it is where God is leading Aaron and me, and I though I don't know what the future holds, I know the my God is in control.

I Guess it Makes Me Human

Ok, so I'm a woman, and this is no surprise to any of you who know me, but being a woman comes with certain emotions and feelings. Lately, I can't explain it, but I have wanted a baby. I know it's crazy, cause Aaron and I are no where near being ready for kids. But I can't help seeing children everywhere and wanting to add one to our family. Even more strange, as it may seem to some, I am wanting to adopt children rather than have biological children. I have always wanted to adopt, but as I get older I just see us adopting. I have been praying about this a lot and it has been on my mind. I can't imagine what the future holds for us, but I pray that God has a little life in store for us to care for and love. It's hard to explain how I feel. I mean, I'm in no way opposed to having a biological child, if that is what God has intended for us, but I truly long to adopt. My heart has always wanted to have a family that is blended from different countries and cultures. The more I read and study on the subject of adoption the more my heart longs to grow our family this way. I know we have a very long road ahead and probably won't even be able to afford children for about 5 years, but I still think about it alot. I guess I'm at that age where I see babies everywhere and want one of our own. I know it's a long way off, but there's no harm in thinking about things. I know I'm thinking way in advance, but I've always been the type to have a plan of action, even if it doesn't work out. So here's to research, planning, and praying that God has a baby in store for us someday in some country waiting to be born to come home to us. God Bless :-)

*And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body-Romans 8:23*

***Note: Ok, so it's a little ran together, but I had to get my thoughts out there. I've been thinking about this for so long and so many years :-)***

Response to a Post

Please log on to my sister-in-law's blog, link above, and read her comment on race.

Leah, I want to thank you for that beautiful post. Those of you who read this blog know that Leah and James adopted a baby boy from Ethiopia this past August. I can't tell you how many times I have heard people comment on his color. The comments, I hope, have been in pure ignorance, but still bother me. When I proudly told people I was getting a nephew from Ethiopia I recieved strange looks and comments such as "Will it be a black baby?" I'm sure, as stated before, many of these comments were in sheer ignorance. But one has to ponder just how far these thoughts of "race" have been engrained into our vocabulary and culture.

A child is a child, regardless of the country they come from and the color of their skin. I have always wanted a baby from Africa. As a child, and a history buff, I studied the history of slavery in our own country and around the world. I was fascinated by the struggles men and women were subject to because of their color. When I was nine I read a book that has stayed with me throughout my life. It was the history of the Underground Railroad. I read how Harriet Tubman risked life and limb to bring slaves to the free north. I have always been amazed by her story, and admired her for her bravery and devotion to God. Another story that has made such an impression on me is from the American Girl Collection. The story is about a yound slave girl, named Addy, and her mother. With the help of God and the Underground Railroad, Addy and her mother successfully escape to freedom and are eventually reunited with their liberated family after the Civil War. It was Addy's story that made want to adopt an African baby some day.

We are all humans with the same struggles, fears, and problems. I pray that people may someday look beyond the skin and see that we were all beautifully and wonderfully made by a Creator who loves us. Remember, this Creator loved us all so much he gave us Jesus, His son, to save us, regardless of our skin.

I will finish with this statement. I am so proud of Leah and James for adopting Zachary. This child was once a prayer, a hope, and a dream for Leah who longed for a child and the rest of us who wanted her to have a baby. I love you Zachary, and I'm so happy you have come into our family. I hope you will continue to know just how much you are loved as your grow older. You are our miracle, our answer to prayer, and our little bundle of joy, regardless of where you were born and your beautiful brown skin.