Saturday, April 26, 2008


My mind and heart have been in very deep thought lately. I've been pondering the issue of adoption again. Aaron and I are at the age where everyone we meet asks us if we 1) have kids or 2) if not, when we are planning on having children. As a couple who has decided that we have a passion for adoption and raising children from other cultures, our natural response is "we wish to adopt in 3 to 4 years." The reactions to our desire is so mixed. It amazes me, no astounds me, at times. We have heard everything from "why would you want to do that?" to "that's wonderful if you can do that sort of thing," and everything else in between. I think the strangest comments have been along the lines of "will that be fair for the child?" and "you'll change, and want one of your own." To which I reply, "is it fair to leave a child parent less?" and "we do want our own, if we adopt, the child and/or children will be our own." These comments have only strengthened our desire and choice to adopt! Now, I'm in no way opposed to having biological children, if that is what God has intended for us, but I also know that is not the only way to grow a family.

I have many of the same feelings I had as a teenager, when I was deciding what career path I wanted. I was bombarded by people who thought, just because I sing opera, that I had to become an opera singer. It was crazy for me to be anything else, in their minds. I love singing, but I do it for the Lord, not for other people. It took me a long time to realize that my voice did not define me, it was a gift that was part of me. That God had another plan in mind, and I am right where He wants me. I feel the same way about our desire to adopt. People assume that because I am a woman, I need to have biological children. That as a woman, why wouldn't I want to give birth, it's what we do. It almost makes me feel like I'm broken because I yearn to adopt. I've been asking myself what's wrong with adoption, why is it controversial, and why am I expected to give birth? I still don't know what the answer is to these questions, but I do know where my heart is. I am for adoption, I love the beauty of it, and I love how God can weave a family any way He chooses.

As Christians, how can we be opposed to adoption. Christianity is based entirely on adoption. Even our Savior Jesus was adopted by His earthly father. We who are sinners and fallen so low have been chosen by a loving God and Savior to be adopted into His kingdom. To become heirs, to truly be His children. How then, can we, who are wretched, sinful creatures, who cannot earn Salvation, but who have been loved beyond words, be against something as beautiful as adoption. Also, as Christians, we know that God created the heavens and earth, that every person on this earth stemmed from one man and one woman. Therefore, we are truly related. We share the same gene pool. Now mind you, it has become more diluted and specialized with each generation, but it still has that original blood of Adam and Eve. It flows through our veins today, just as it did 6,000 years ago.

This leads me to believe even more passionately that family does not have to be "biological." It can be beautifully woven however God chooses. God is in control of Aaron and me, our life together, and our future family. Whether that family is woven through biology or adoption. This is where my heart is, it is where God is leading Aaron and me, and I though I don't know what the future holds, I know the my God is in control.

2 Witty Sentiments:

Sarah Jane Meister said...

May God direct you and your husband and give you the desires of your heart. I wish there were more people who were burdened for those (all too many) children who have lost their biological parents for one reason or another. They deserve a happy life and a home and a mommy and daddy just as much as any other child! God Bless you for your desire to do adopt! I also enjoyed your correlation to our own adoption as Children of God. So true!

Oregon Regency Society said...

Lauren, your desire to adopt a child stems from such a good place, a pure and sweet and adoring place in your soul, so how could it be wrong? Really? You're absolutely right; and if the desire is strong and it's there, then you should follow it. I have such respect for the strength of your faith, Lauren. You are such a beautiful person. I can tell just by how much you love your furry and feathery kids. :)